January 18th, 2006

STOCK: food - blueberries

i give up

i hate Chris (the one in Canada)..he's a player. he made me think he loved me, but he loves 2 other girls..possibly even more. he can't make up his fucking mind who he wants. i don't agree with his views on relationships.

he's not been on MSN in weeks..and i don't give a damn. i don't miss that ugly retard. we have nothing in common. and since i'll never move to Canada now, i won't be seeing him.

speaking of which, after next week, i don't think i'll be moving there. it just won't happen. i'm not lucky. things don't go the way i want. i won't have enough money. i won't have a college degree. and i won't have enough work experience. i know i'll be rejected..so why bother? why go through all that for nothing? why even try? i'm better off here. i think i'll move to Chicago or St. Louis..or maybe Seattle. somewhere that'll be easy to move to. no immigration shit. :(

i deleted my anti-Harper post. it upset someone. :( i'm sorry. i'll admit defeat next week. we all know it'll happen. he'll win. and it don't matter anymore. i don't care. it's your life (canadians), not mine. it'll never be mine..ever. and we got our own devil in office. we need to worry about ourselves. sorry, again.

Toronto visits will be fine with me. i just can't take the stress and heartbreak anymore. i quit! i swear.

[mood| my dreams are gone..ripped apart]